Lessons Learned from telling my GP

This was orginally written on May 18th, 2009 and posted to the Facebook Page The_Spectacular_Comeback_of_AW on June 5th

I have never had a close relationship with my family doctor.  Really who wants a close relationship with your GP?   No relationship means that I am healthy and there is no reason for us to meet. When I was released from the hospital (after brain surgery)  they gave me a letter to give to my GP and told me to make an appointment  in about 10 days  to take the staples out. The nurses gave me a stapler remover kit because they figured my GP would charge me for one– I love my nurses.

I had recently seen my family doctor about my condition. Over the past 8 months I have experienced some subtle changes. Those close to me have noticed, in fact post surgery I called my friend Fitz (Heather FitzGerald) and we chatted. She said “Alyson it’s so weird because this terrible thing has happened, and your health is so much different, but Alyson you sound more like yourself than you have in a really long time. It’s really good to have you back.”

The changes were subtle – I watched a lot of TV, I lost interest in stuff. At work I was distracted, I couldn’t complete projects and would waste a lot of time in my office. I was coming in late and pushing deadlines. It wasn’t so noticeable that my boss needed to intervene, but it was noticeable enough to me that I acknowledged it with him anyways. At home I didn’t have interest in doing stuff.   I wasn’t engaging in my volunteer activities and I wouldn’t show up for my trainer appointments at the gym. But stress was high at work, it was fall in Calgary, the sun was shining less and it’s the time of year when I knew it was going to get darker before it got lighter again. I wasn’t exercising often and I wasn’t eating well. To me this was Seasonal Affective Disorder or some personal motivation issue that I needed to work through with accountability.

This continued for months and after discussions with Jared, he encouraged me to visit my GP and discuss my mood concerns. I felt uncomfortable, going in to talk about depression when I really felt I should be able to manage this on my own. But I went and my GP and I discussed my concerns.

My GP asked me about my diet, my level of stress at work, exercise. I was honest but brief.  I said that I hadn’t been eating well, my work was stressful and I hadn’t been exercising as actively as I probably should. He sent me for blood work and told me to come back on Thursday for results.

I came on Thursday for results which were low average blood sugar and low average thyroid.  My GP felt that it was not serious but that it was a bit on the low side and potentially that was the issue causing my decreased moods. We discussed diet, particularly breakfast which I wasn’t eating, and decided that I would start with that, monitor my condition and come back if things didn’t improve. We both felt that going straight to medication for thyroid or depression might be premature. After that discussion I mentioned to him that I had been having these strong headaches. We talked about them and he recommended a different over the counter pain medication and though that the headaches may be related to the other issues and diet might also help. We also both acknowledged that the weather in Calgary had been extreme that week and that migraines, at my age, were not uncommon. He asked me to continue monitoring and to come back if the problems persisted. That was on April 16th. April 24th I was admitted to ER and the tumor was found.

On Monday May 11, I returned to my doctor to have my staples removed. This was the first time I had seen him since our meeting regarding diet. I was interested if he knew of my diagnosis. He had no idea.

Jared sits beside me when my GP walks in the room. My hat is off, a stapled incision across  the top right of my head and my black eye are obvious.  My boyfriend is sitting beside me with his hand on my shoulder. It’s obvious that I am here for something serious. My GP is taken a little aback. He says, apprehensively, “Hello – How are you doing today.” I reply –

Well, I am not well.

And I tell him my story. I walk him through what happened after we last met. How after we met on Thursday April 16, I called in sick to work on Friday and spent the weekend in bed with a headache. That on Monday when I couldn’t go to work Jared told me to go to a walk in clinic where I was referred for an outpatient CT. That the following Friday, April 24, Jared took me to the hospital after I started vomiting and all the steps in between from surgery to recovery to diagnosis. And that on May 7th, I was diagnosed with a Gliobastoma and that I start radiation and chemo therapy in 4 weeks.

And I got emotional – I didn’t cry but I felt emotion as I told him.

He was shocked. He responded “Gliobastoma – Alyson that is serious.” He was very focused on me and I observed he used my name which I thought was significant. He asked me about the size of the tumour and Jared explained what it looked like, that it was about 6.5 cm round. In the waiting room I had just written down a question for my nurse practioner to ask.  I had read the statement “A Pea Size Tumour” and I thought, “I wonder how someone would describe my tumor – is it pea size or pear size and is that consider big as far as tumor goes? “ My GP at hearing the size of the tumour answered this question “That’s huge.”  I was like – all right I guess my tumor is considered more in the pear categories and was happy we had eaten the last pear from the fruit baskets.

He then took the stapler remover and removed my staples. I had been nervous about getting the staples out. Not nervous about having brain surgery, not nervous about radiation or chemo (at least not nervous as of that day) but I was nervous that taking my staples out would hurt. I felt nothing. It was relaxing and I thought, “Another reason why this is so remarkable. I have a 23 stapled incision in my head and I didn’t even feel it when the staples were removed and the incision doesn’t even itch.”  Jared reminds me that there are very little pain receptors on my head. I believe that it’s the positive energy.

I walked out the office and said to Jared, “Another step in the process . Telling your family doctor . Check.”  But of course, I analyzed and found meaning in even this.

I reflected on my movement through the medical system. Say what you want about the medical system but I am proof in the pudding that when it’s bad -it works, fast and furious to make things happen. I also reflected on the exceptional care that I had received at Foothills Hospital and am grateful that I live so close to such a world class neuro facility. The doctor I worked with indicated to me that I was lucky I live in Alberta specifically as my treatment may not have been fully covered if I lived in another province.

Lesson Learned – I am thankful to live in Canada, and in Alberta and in my home in West Hillhurst.

I also reflect on accountability, specifically around my accountability for my own health. Upon hearing I had 4 weeks off before radiation I asked “All right, so what is the 4 week pre radiation training program.” I figured there would be a diet, with specific cancer boosting foods, exercise recommendations, mental preparation etc etc. My chemo doctor replied somewhat shocked,  “Good question,  I have never really been asked that. Eat lots of raw foods, especially fruit and vegetables, fish, chicken try to limit lean red meat.” I asked if I could drink, He said “You Gotta Live” My dad asked about the exercise. My doctor said “Do what makes you feel good and what you feel you are able to do.” I was genuinely surprised when there wasn’t more of a plan for preparing me for treatment. Jared wasn’t. He said “ Alyson most people when they get news like this, their reaction is ok, so what drugs are you going to give me. They typically don’t think about how they can be involved in the process and moreover look to take accountability to be part of the process.”

I genuinely didn’t understand that statement. All I could think about are the number of resources that were going being invested into my health, how expensive my chemo alone is going to be let alone the radiation, doctors, nurses, receptionists – everything that makes my treatment centre operate. If all this money, talent, research is being invested in me the least I can do is show up in the best condition I can so that not an ounce of these resources are wasted.

Lesson Learned – My health is my responsibility to take care of – not my government responsibility

Just like in sports, drills mean nothing unless you can perform the skill in the game. So lessons are great but unless they teach you something that makes you change something or makes you take action it’s not a lesson, it’s a story.

So here is the action inspired from the above lesson

Lesson 1 – I am thankful I live in Alberta Canada and grateful for the medical care that I have and will receive. This gift is significant to me and I need to recognize it.
Action – I called David Swann’s Office  he is my MLA and his office is right around the corner. I have always wanted to connect with the office, but didn’t know how. I called them up and told them my story. Even when I called I thought – Maybe this is attention seeking – Gotta Make It “All About Woloshyn” even to my MLA. But the guy I talked to on the phone’s reaction confirmed it was the right thing to do.  He said “You are blowing my mind”  He wants my story and he is going to send it to the Liberal Caucus – nothing might come out of it – but I expect something will and I hope it’s positive recognition for Foothills Hospital and my medical team.
Update – I did send my story in mid May and David Swan did contact me recently to thank me for sending it and requested that I drop by sometime to see him.

Lesson 2 – My health is my responsibility to take care of – not my government responsibility
My health is my most precious resource and I must invest in it everyday  - This is a statement from my personal mission statement which I wrote in 2005. I read it often and always felt like a hypocrite when I read it because I never walked the walk on this statement in particular. Compared to many I was pretty good, but I never met the expectations of good health that I knew I should be doing. It’s amazing what a little brain tumour can do for motivation. Don’t get me wrong, I am still not perfect and who would want to be . Like my Chemo Doctor said “You Gotta Live”. But I haven’t touched a Diet Pepsi since I was in the hospital and I make sure there are leafy greens and healthy fats at every meal. I have a completely different outlook on what I am eating and I constantly think, “ How will this help me get ready for treatment and how will this help my body beat this cancer.” There is no doubt that my speedy and pain free recovery back to normal life is in part due to how I have taken care of myself up to now. I believe that I can minimize the negative effects of radiation and chemo by doing the same thing and ultimately significantly influence my success in kickin this cancers ass.  Update – I have enhanced my eating over the past 2 months which I believe has significantly reduced all the potential negative effects of chemo and radiation – See my Align Yourself for your Health Battles – http://alysonwoloshyn.com/align-yourself-for-your-health-battles/

Lessons for everyone – I think these lessons are relevant to everyone and I would encourage people to do the following
1.Make gratitude a part of your daily life. Say thank you, write cards, send emails and acknowledge the time and effort that people give to you to make your life better. And when you get something big, like great service, or care from strangers – make sure you let someone know about it.
2.Take accountability for your health. In the end, your body is the only thing you really have and you never know when your health may change. Make changes to your lifestyle to be as healthy as possible so that if that time comes, when your health may turn, your body will be already ready to support you through your fight with success.